First Annual Cycling in the South Bay Awards and Drunkfest

August 9, 2013 § 79 Comments

Date: Thursday, October 3, 2013, 7:00 – 10:00 PM

Location: TBD, Most likely the Strand Brewery or Naja’s, depending on the number of attendees

The heroines and heroes of the South Bay will be recognized for their outstanding achievements at an upcoming awards ceremony. I am now accepting nominations for the following categories. Only nominations submitted in the comments section of this blog will be considered.  Final decisions will be made by tallying votes, then ignoring them.

In order to be considered for an award, the rider must meet one of the following qualifications: The nominee must live in the South Bay, ride in the South Bay, have once ridden in the South Bay, know someone who knew someone who once rode in the South Bay, live in the continental United States, or be a real person, living or dead. No other nominations will be considered, except Sasquatch.

South Bay Rider of the Year: Rider who you admired most, for whatever reason.
Most Improved Rider: Rider who stepped it up to “the next level.”
Champion of the NPR: Rider who demonstrated dominance and mastery of this legendary ride.
Champion of the DonutRider who demonstrated dominance and mastery of this legendary ride. 
Telo Champion: Rider who won the most, or rode the hardest, or showed up the most, etc.
Best New Face: Rider who we never really noticed but we sure notice now.
Best Comeback after an Awful Injury or Spousal Cycling Ban, Etc.: Self-explnatory.
Biggest Wanker: Rider who tries and tries again, but always somehow manages to flail.
Best Cycling Advocate: Rider who gets people enthused about the bike.
Best Club: Best parties? Most open door? Best group rides? You make the call.
South Bay Hardman: Rider who brings the pain.
South Bay Hardwoman: Rider who brings the pain.
KOM: Best male clumber.
QOM: Best female clumber.
Best Cycling Sponsor: Puts their money where our mouths are.
Good Samaritan Award: There for you when you need it even when you don’t deserve it.
Strava Champion: Lives for those little crowns. Real rides and real races? Not so much.
Most Ancient Rider: Father or Mother Time.
South Bay Junior of the Year: Young pup who’s already schooling the old school.
Rider I’d Most Like to Get Stuck Next to on a 100-Miler: Self-explanatory.
Crashtacular Award: Biggest, gnarliest, non-fatal crash.
Ride Animator Award: Rider who always keeps things “interesting.”
Freddy Freeloader Purple Card dis-Award: Rider who contributes the least.

§ 79 Responses to First Annual Cycling in the South Bay Awards and Drunkfest

  • Brian in VA says:

    I admit, I did a double take. I thought it said, “South Bay Hardon.” I don’t live out there but based on what you’ve written over the last year I’ve been reading, that category would have really stiff competition.

    • Carl Frushon says:

      LOL…I thought the same, however based on all the over inflated egos, proving could land the NPR a lifetime ban at the MB Starbucks, humility for >50%, and a likely star role in the upcoming feature film adaptation of Seth’s Cycling in the South Bay Trilogy masterpiece “Deep Sprunt”…let the wanking begin (legal disclaimer, apologies to those offended)

    • Admin says:

      Har!!!

  • Dank Robot says:

    Chris Froome for most improved rider. Granted year over year improvement wasn’t that impressive. But as a lifetime achievement award, it may help relieve his sadness.

  • Valley Girl says:

    May I suggest a best socks category?

  • dan martun says:

    Oh damn, I can already feel the hangover….this is gonna be fun…So how do we submit our nominations?

  • JP says:

    *Seasons Most Epic Crashes*
    Nominee: Dave “The Face” Holland
    Crashes:
    1) Early season crit crash resulting in legit air-time, concussion, ER visit, and most importantly “the face”.
    2) Mid-season portuguese bend crash-out, resulting in no bodily injury but a new wheel + power tap upgrade.
    3) Late season crit crash after crossing the finish line in a career best 7th place! Resulting in ER visit and broken collar bone.

    Epic.

  • Wankomodo says:

    Hardman: David Holland – one crash with a concussion and umpteen stitches to the face, back on the trainer less than a week later and racing 2 weeks later. Another crash, broken collarbone, plus plenty of minor contact with cars, etc. (could also qualify for best comeback or technically best new face)

    QOM: Lauren Mulwitz. nuff said

    Best sponsor: should go without saying but the name starts with S and ends with PY

    Good Samaritan: I’d nominate the whole SB cycling community. If I have to pick one individual: G3

    Biggest wanker: I am not sure if there is anyone that can outwank the Wankmeister

  • channel_zero says:

    spousal cycling ban… That will be a crowded category.

    Does the “Junior of the year” category get awarded in abstentia? Family values wankmeister!

    I didn’t see a “Best recovering addict who changed addiction to cycling” category. Maybe next year?

    • Admin says:

      Juniors will be awarded near beer outside the door of the bar. In cycling, there are no recovering addicts. Only addicts.

  • KP says:

    I would have to say best junior would have to go to Jules, but that’s about all i know as i mostly ride in Carson and not the South Bay it seems.

    • Josh says:

      South Bay Rider of the Year
      TBD

      Most Improved Rider
      Seth Davidson, Aaron Wimberly
      Seth: Stronger, smarter, more aggressive.
      Aaron: Great sprinter who turned into a climber, relentless smasher and an even better sprinter.
      Don’t like the guy. Too fast. :)

      Champion of the NPR
      Damn that Aaron Wimberly

      Champion of the Donut
      Stathis the Wiley Greek

      Telo Champion
      Damn that Aaron Wimberly

      Best New Face
      TBD

      Best Comeback after an Awful
      Injury or Spousal Cycling Ban, Etc.
      TBD

      Biggest Wanker
      Wow, that’s a good one. The list is so long….
      Josh Alverson

      Best Cycling Advocate
      Greg Leibert

      Best Club (or Team?)
      Spy-Giant-Ride ECT.

      South Bay Hardman
      (Are we judging “Hardness”, or “likes to jump off the bikeness”?)
      Hardness: Eric Anderson

      South Bay Hardwoman
      Lauren Wulwitz

      KOM
      Stathis

      QOM
      Tink

      Best Cycling Sponsor
      Absolutely, no question…
      SPY Optic

      Good Samaritan Award
      Greg Leibert & Lauren Mulwitz
      (The super team!)

      Strava Champion
      MMX, Lane Reid, Spencer Yee

      Most Ancient Rider
      TBD

      South Bay Junior of the Year
      Sam Warford (jr?)

      Rider I’d Most Like to Get Stuck Next to on a 100-Miler
      TBD

    • Admin says:

      Jules is definitely in the running. He’ll get his Naja’s beer certificate when he turns 21.

  • dan martun says:

    junior-sam warford..I know hes like 18 or 19 but to me thats fresh off the tit.
    wanker-fawkin seth davidson..nuff said
    telo-josh alverson after more than one solo windy breakaway win he gets my nod.
    comeback-dave holland..duh
    advocate-seth davidson, jim hannon
    sponsor-SPY
    kom-studfest whos whos..G3, sam I am, lane reid, surfer dan, wankmeister, G$, josh alverson, eric anderson, stathis….fawkers.
    qom- mighty mouse, tink
    samaritan-G3 cause he epitomizes how riders should act.
    club-beach cities cycling club, over 400 members strong.
    100 mile rider buddy- surfer dan, just dont go mountain biking on your road bike with him.

  • "Sausage" (under protest) says:

    The legitimacy of these awards is seriously questioned by the lack of a “Best Videographer Award,” but we’ll press on anyways.

    Champion of the NPR: In an upset, I am going with Wanky over Eric Anderson. Wanky was part of the first successful 4-man break in NPR history, managed to avoid manslaughter in the rain during a very memorable NPR, had a “Moment Like This” and generally flogged himself at the front of the ride. Plus Eric wins plenty already. Wanky needs this.

    South Bay Hardman: Surfer Dan. Seems to have never met a 100 mile ride through the mountains that he didn’t like.

    KOM – I will go with Eric here, mainly because I consider the overpass on NPR to be a “mountain.” Huge sprint but can seriously climb as well. Annoying, right? Honorable mention goes to Chad Moston, who is a similar two-way threat/freak, but is a more infrequent participant in races and local group rides.

    QOM: Still Kristabel.

    Strava Champion: How is this not Brian Perkins?

    Most Ancient Rider: Johnny Walsh. Still out there pounding the pedals.

    South Bay Junior of the Year: This has to go to Jules Gilliam, for smoking the entire Cat 4 field at Rosena Ranch in February to take the win, in the process beating many loyal readers of this blog. You know who you are.

    • Admin says:

      These are great, except that I’m disqualified due to bylaw No. 3.234(c)(iii): Wankmeister is disqualified.

      Weird, but it appears to be the only bylaw.

      • "Sausage" (under protest) says:

        OK, in that case, I change my nomination from “Wanky” to Seth Davidson.

      • Josh says:

        I agree. Wanky gets no votes, but Seth Davidson is in the running.

      • Admin says:

        Wow, I just checked and found that there is actually another bylaw, bringing the grand total to two: “Seth Davidson is disqualified.”

        Damn.

      • Josh says:

        That’s a shame.
        There may be some unclaimed awards (and cash prizes?) in that case.

        I’m still voting for you, wanker.
        By laws are for pussies.

      • Admin says:

        Man, the more I dig, the more I learn! Bylaw X reads: “Wankmeister allowed to accept free beer at all times.”

      • "Sausage" (under protest) says:

        Set Davidsonh?

      • "Sausage" (under protest) says:

        Sethn Davidso? Both would make for fantastic nominees.

  • New Girl says:

    South Bay Rider of the Year – Mighty
    Most Improved Rider – Hani
    Champion of the NPR – No idea, I am usually too far back
    Champion of the Donut – See above
    Telo Champion – Te-what? (Didn’t make it to one this year)
    Best Comeback after an Awful Injury or Spousal Cycling Ban, Etc. – Mr Agnew!!!
    Biggest Wanker – <3
    Best Cycling Advocate – Wanky
    Best Club – La Big Iron Orange Hlelens Fly Grange
    South Bay Hardman – Fireman (see earlier blog)
    South Bay Hardwoman – Suze
    KOM – MMX x 1,000,000
    QOM – TINK & Mighty
    Best Cycling Sponsor – SPY
    Good Samaritan Award – G3
    Strava Champion – BP aka Tree
    South Bay Junior of the Year – Diego!
    Rider I’d Most Like to Get Stuck Next to on a 100-Miler – Wanky, to tell me stories

  • Winemaker says:

    I don’t know any of these wankers. I used to know THOG, but then, he was a pimple poppin’ junior back in the day. I will, however, donate two cases of good red juice AND pay the corkage that is sure to follow. Let me know.

    • Admin says:

      You can nominate anyone, and you can attend this illustrious gathering. And the wine will be gleefully consumed.

  • Stathis says:

    Crash award: hands down Pischon Jones MBGP

  • JP says:

    100-Miler: Surfer Dan for sure.
    He always hugs you at the end of every ride. It’s nice. He’d probly do more if you let’em.

  • Noel says:

    Mike Jones, All categories, all the time. Just becuase old dirty kit, skincare, and sunblock always win.

  • raceready says:

    Okayyyyy, I’ll play along kinda sorta
    Most Improved Rider: Hani with credit to secret training
    Best Cycling Advocate: Seth (yes, I can and will nominate you) and G$
    Best Club: Big O
    South Bay Hardwoman: Suze
    Good Samaritan Award: G3
    Strava Champion: Perkins
    South Bay Junior of the Year: Diego
    Rider I’d Most Like to Get Stuck Next to on a 100-Miler: Dan

  • drbeachbum says:

    I nominate G$ for EVERY category. Huh? QOM? Hardwoman? That’s right bitch, I said EVERY category.

  • lisa says:

    Wheel I’d Most Like To Sit On: Don Witzel (sp?). He’s selfless, has the smoothest wheel and is one the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.
    Good Samaritan Award: Mrs. WM. She does more behind he scenes than we’ll ever know!

  • fsethd says:

    Nominations submitted by Mike Norris:

    South Bay Rider of the Year: Rider who you admired most, for whatever reason.
    Most Improved Rider: Rider who stepped it up to “the next level.” Gus Bayle
    Champion of the NPR: Rider who demonstrated dominance and mastery of this legendary ride. Seth
    Champion of the Donut: Rider who demonstrated dominance and mastery of this legendary ride. I am never at the front to see.
    Telo Champion: Rider who won the most, or rode the hardest, or showed up the most, etc. See Donut.
    Best New Face: Rider who we never really noticed but we sure notice now. Young Kid (Have no idea of his name. He was on NPR today and Stathis “coached” him) [Ed: Sam Warford!]
    Best Comeback after an Awful Injury or Spousal Cycling Ban, Etc.: Self-explnatory. G$
    Biggest Wanker: Rider who tries and tries again, but always somehow manages to flail. ALL OF US
    Best Cycling Advocate: Rider who gets people enthused about the bike. Seth
    Best Club: Best parties? Most open door? Best group rides? You make the call. Orange/Ironfly. (Dead Heat).
    South Bay Hardman: Rider who brings the pain. The Bull
    South Bay Hardwoman: Rider who brings the pain. Suzanne
    KOM: Best male clumber. Stathis
    QOM: Best female clumber. Tink
    Best Cycling Sponsor: Puts their money where our mouths are. Spy, Spy, and Spy.
    Good Samaritan Award: There for you when you need it even when you don’t deserve it. Gerald Iacono
    Strava Champion: Lives for those little crowns. MMX–Although he DOES really ride AND Really Race, too.
    Most Ancient Rider: Father or Mother Time. Tim Gillibrand. Hell, name the award after him.
    South Bay Junior of the Year: Young pup who’s already schooling the old school. Jules
    Rider I’d Most Like to Get Stuck Next to on a 100-Miler: Self-explanatory. G$. Never stops smiling, and always waits.
    Crashtacular Award: Biggest, gnarliest, non-fatal crash. Wheatgrass 3 weeks ago. 10 riders, 2 ambulances. ALL lanes covered.
    Ride Animator Award: Rider who always keeps things “interesting.” The Flying Wheelie himself, Gus Bayle.
    Freddy Freeloader Purple Card dis-Award: Rider who contributes the least. THEY know full well who they are.
    M

  • Dave Dixon says:

    Humanitarian award nomination. Sounds like Mike has a lock on this one but I would like to add a vote. I (an unknoun , non racing rider) flatted coming down from the domes. Got the “you all right?” from many riders. I said yes, I have everything and I thought I looked capable of dealing, but all of a sudden I had a pit crew of four people. 2 were club mates, 1 girl in a NPR jersey, and Mike. My club mates are not SB riders, Don’t know the Girls name so that leaves Mike.
    Thanks Wheatgrass riders

    • fsethd says:

      There are lots of Good Bike Samaritans out there, but no one stops more, helps more, does more than Mike Norris. Other guys who will invariably stop to help are Craig Leeuwenburgh, Bob Spalding, Gerald Iacono … they’ve been around the block a few thousand times and never leave someone in distress.

  • Carl Frushon says:

    I nominate Robert Frank for being an ok cyclist, but an amazing Hero…serving in harms way in Kuwait. Should he ride a bike with NPR kit and sends photos, earns an award for the Most Remote Wanker…CHEERS & safe return!

  • Edmund Dantes says:

    I humbly nominate myself for a ‘Wanky Award’ in the category of “Worst (Cycling Related) Animated Short Film(s) – Of All Time, This Year, 35+”.

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