2013 Year in Preview
December 30, 2013 § 13 Comments
Looking ahead to 2013, I foresee a lot of really cool stuff, and today I’m going to make some bold predictions, all of which are guaranteed to come true.
- I will start drinking beer again. Specifically, this will happen at the conclusion of the Belgian Waffle Ride, where I predict that I will be ground up like mashed potatos.
- Chris Froome will win the Tour de France.
- Chris Horner will win the Vuelta a Aburrido, and become the oldest mutant to ever win a grand tour.
- I will publish a book about cycling in the South Bay.
- Tim Roach will coach Tara Unversagt to multiple world masters titles on the track.
- Julie Cutts will win world masters titles in the time trial and on the road.
- Robert Efthimos will become an expectant father.
- SBBaby Seal and Manslaughter will give me a birthday gift card for the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, and it will actually have money left on it.
- Charon Smith will end the year with 1,582 Facebook friends, only 1,580 of whom are insanely jealous of his success.
- Sherri Foxworthy will teach me some very cool new expressions, none of which use the word “fuck.”
- Chris Lotts will put on a bunch of good bike races and only anger half the participants with his pre-race announcements.
- Mike Hecker will put on a lights-out race series in Santa Barbara County.
- Neil Shirley will win the BWR.
- SPY Optic will enjoy another year of uninterrupted growth, and CEO Michael Marckx will get promoted to the board of directors.
- While American debates Duck Dynasty, Congress will fast-track legislation that further curtails freedom and fundamental human rights.
- Kevin Phillips will set an hour record.
- I will crash and hit my head at 40 mph and walk away from it with only moderate brain damage, which will be undetectable from my previous state.
- The kimchi South Bay Biker Diet will come to an ignominious end and all the lost weight will be rediscovered.
- I will ride more than 14,000 miles on my bike.
- It will be a wonderful year.