Top pros analyze Tour of Flanders 2014

April 8, 2014 § 18 Comments

Cycling in the South Bay was privileged to interview several top professionals after Fabian Cancellara split the lead group and won out of a four-up breakaway.

CitSB: How did the race unfold?
Sep Vanmarcke: I was with Cancellara over the Kwaremont and Paterberg, but in the end he destroyed the field and made us look like children. Belgian children. Stupid Belgian children.

CitSB: Any conclusions about the race?
Greg van Avermaet: All in all it was a more tactical race than the last two years, since changing the finish from Meerbeke to Oudenarde. I am very pleased with second place but it was very difficult to beat Cancellara due to him crushing us all like a bunch of bugs on the windscreen of a jet.

CitSB: You must be disappointed with seventh place?
Tom Boonen: Yes, of course, I was just two percent or so off. I believe I had a chance to beat Cancellara, but that was only in the warm-up around the bus.

CitSB: How would you evaluate the race?
Peter Sagan: Evaluate it? I got my ass whipped. You know how they say it in Slovakian? “Your eleventh finger is in the meat grinder.”

CitSB: What was going through your head as you approached the line in a 4-up breakaway with Cancellara?
Stijn Vandenbergh: “I’m totally screwed.” Something like that.

CitSB: You must have felt good about your early breakaway, taking the pressure off Greg for most of the race?
Taylor Phinney: If you think it feels good to have Cancellara annihilate an entire field when you’re one of the riders in the field, you’re a complete fool.

CitSB: What is Team Sky planning to improve on its top Ronde placing of 65th?
David Brailsford: We’ll do some more marginal gains away from the testers next year, that’s for sure. And wait for Cancellara to retire.

CitSB: It’s been 2008 since Italy won a monument. Why do you guys suck so bad?
Filippo Pozzato: I would like to point out that Cancellara comes from the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland.

CitSB: How does a guy with no teammates beat an entire field of 200 riders, including 30 riders from Omega-Pharma-Quickdope riding on their home turf?
Patrick Lefevere: Heads will roll, trust me. We do not race for second place. In fact lately we haven’t even been racing for tenth. Firings and public humiliation will continue until morale improves.


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§ 18 Responses to Top pros analyze Tour of Flanders 2014

  • 900aero says:

    Very, very funny. Thanks Seth.

  • Tom Paterson says:

    Ho ho ho. Did you see the article in VN where Fabian did some SPRINT TRAINING leading up to this race? Pretty sharp for an old grey-head at the end of his career.
    (pant pant wag wag) Who’s a good boy? Who wants to learn to sprint? Who wants to win those races???
    (pant pant wag wag) Woof! WOOF!!! (“I do! I do!”)
    Good boy, good boy, now let’s go play chase the motorcycle…

    • fsethd says:

      If you just practice sprinting you can win everything, right?

      • Tom Paterson says:

        Probably won’t help your TT’ing. But, if you’ve come up short at the end of races, then I’d suggest that even people who “can’t sprint” can improve their sprinting. Seems to have worked for FC .

  • Sr Geezer Johan says:

    Thanks for the extra effort to get the interviews and capture the thrill of defeat from so many perspectives.

    “I’m totally screwed.” Perfect. Succinct.

    Wonderful way to start the day before heading out for a long ride!

  • Kuerbis says:

    Classic ! Filippo Pozzato: I would like to point out that Cancellara comes from the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland.

  • Peter Schindler says:

    And FC has a motor in his seat tube.

  • Tobylima says:

    Great story Seth, but more importantly, congrats on selling some ad space!

    • fsethd says:

      Ha, ha! That’s the firm I work with as Of Counsel. Figured I might as well put up a link … thanks for noticing.

  • dan martin says:

    Awesomely funny!…especially since I just finished watching the race. All I can say is Wow!!

  • Reading this is better than watching the race! Funnier too. And I get the basics of how it went down. Thanks Seth!

  • kh says:

    some of your best work. of course, I’m easily impressed

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