Froome out of Tour, vows he’ll be back “on Friday”

July 10, 2014 § 25 Comments

After Wednesday’s stunning reversal of fortune that saw last year’s Tour de France champion Chris Froome fall off his bicycle three separate times, the stem-gazing Man Of Something Not Quite As Hard As Steel announced that after falling and getting an “ouchie” he would not be starting Thursday’s stage. Cycling in the South Bay caught up with Chris and director David Brailsford aboard the team bus, now affectionately known as the “Froome Wagon.”

CitSB: So, what happened?

Froome: Aw, it was fuggin’ awful, mate, a bloody shit show. Rain, cobbles, traffic furniture, 190 idiots trying to squeeze onto a cow track, y’know?

CitSB: Cobbles got the best of you?

Froome: Well, it was the pre-cobbles.

CitSB: Pre-cobbles?

Froome: Yar. I sort of hit some wanker’s wheel and fell off me bike.

CitSB: Did you break your wrist in your first pre-cobbles bike-falling-off incident, or the second?

Froome: The second. It’s not quite broken. But it’s very sore. Incredibly hurty sore. I couldn’t continue.

CitSB: What’s the current Dx?

Froome: Oh, it’s very painful and hurts. The riding and such and the rain and the other people trying to beat me and the stress made it very ouchy and hurty, eh? Tough day in the saddle for us hard men, that’s for sure.

CitSB: When did you know you wouldn’t be able to start Thursday’s stage?

Froome: Right away. I hit me hand and scratched it pretty bad like. The doctor put on three Band-Aids and a cold pack, y’know? It was super hurty ouchy. I can really relate to what Johnny Hoogerland and Tyler Hamilton went through. But it’s a tough sport and not to brag, but we’re tough guys. Hard men.

CitSB: What does this mean for the rest of your season?

Froome: It’s not too bad, actually. I plan on grabbing a couple of pints down at the pub tonight with Cav and Millar and maybe Wiggo. We’ve got a little support group going, eh. Rooney may show up, too. I get to rest all day today and all day Thursday, then I’ll pick up where I left off on Friday. It’s a stage that’s not too bad.

CitSB: Excuse me?

Froome: The Tour’s a three-week race, mate. What’s a day here or there? I’m surprised more guys don’t do it. Take a couple of days off and then come back sharper than a needle, if you know what I mean.

CitSB: So you’re going to just hop back in?

Froome: Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I ain’t no quitter, mate.

CitSB: Have you discussed this with anyone?

Froome: Oh, sure. Brailsford’s on board with it. Right, Dave?

Brailsford: Absolutely. He’s prepared all year for this. A lot of guys would quit with a big nasty ouchie like that, but Chris is no quitter; he’s more like a pauser. He lives for the Tour. And for stems. And as he says, by Friday he’ll have recovered enough to have another go. We don’t expect him to pull on the yellow jersey until the mountains, though.

CitSB: Uh … don’t you guys know that, uh … never mind. So, have you had any second thoughts about Wiggo?

Froome: (laughs) Yeah. Our first thought was that he’s an arse. And our second thought is that he’s a hole. (guffaws)

CitSB: I mean, does your accident make you regret having left him off the team?

Froome: Not at all. Why would it?

CitSB: Well, if Wiggins had been selected he’d be able to lead the team now.

Froome: (suspiciously) What’s that supposed to mean? I told you I’m comin’ back on Friday, didn’t I? I’m the leader of this team, that’s sorted. And if I’d had me way I wouldn’t of rode today anyway. Stupid stage, like I said. I’m a bike racer, not a rock climber. I think next year we’ll do a bit more stage recon and skip the ones that ain’t a good fit.

Brailsford: We’re still planning on using Wiggins, actually.

CitSB: You are?

Brailsford: Yes. We’re saving him for a couple of key mountain stages. When everyone else is tired he’ll be fresh as a new blood bag. We’ll send him in to set pace for Chris. We figure that’s the best way to burn up Contador. Then we’ll rest him for a couple of stages and send him in again.

CitSB: Kind of like a pinch hitter in American baseball?

Froome: Yeah, exactly, without all the chewing tobacco.

CitSB: Any thoughts on the withdrawals of Andy Schleck and Mark Cavendish? They both went down in crashes, too.

Froome: (laughing) Them wankers ought to learn how to ride a bike!

 

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§ 25 Responses to Froome out of Tour, vows he’ll be back “on Friday”

  • Kuerbis says:

    I recommend Froome only do half-days for the next couple of stages. I’m sure he’s “doctor”, that will write him a note.

  • The Postman says:

    when the going gets tough, take a break

  • spinner says:

    Pauser….I like that. Maybe pause within stages too…Heck, I could ride the Tour if I had a few “pauses” (like 21 days of them…)

    Team SKY has to be the stupidest cycling organization in pro cycling. Leave a guy home because there’s a few bad dinner conversations?Come on grow up.

  • Dan says:

    Knew your take would be good but this better than I thought. Pauser perfect!

  • Jim G says:

    Maybe he and Schleck should take a few weeks off and then quit

  • sibex9591 says:

    I knew you wouldn’t let us down Seth. CitSB always seems to get the best interviews. Your subjects seem so willing to talk freely. Must be your bedside manner is so trusting and disarming.

    Perhaps Nibali will relax and open up to you…. His not-so-yellow yellow jersey seemed very gritty yesterday.

  • vladluskin says:

    Andy just had knee surgery following his abandon. Perhaps Froomy can undergo a courage transplant with the Wizard of Oz.

    • fsethd says:

      UCI is considering a new “ouchy” rule. To wit: anyone who feels pain or discomfort for more than 20 minutes in a stage race gets to take the day off.

  • No one of consequence says:

    C’mon take it easy on Froomey. Besides, Phil and Paul were pretty adamant about his guts. Name one time they have been wrong whilst defending the character of a cyclist. By the way did you know you can actually save 30% of your power simply by riding in the slipstream of the…

  • Peter Schindler says:

    Not only can you save power but Lars Boom rode 100 miles in 3:18 on cobbles in the rain. That’s what Phil said.
    A great way to start the day, thanks for making me laugh.

  • dan martin says:

    Brilliant!

  • Tom says:

    OK, smart-alecks.

    Froome is reported to have fractured *both* his left wrist and right hand .
    How many of you could keep riding like that?

    Tyler Hamilton “famously” rode a grand tour w/ a broken hand or something, but who knows what was in his “finish bottle”? — enough tramadol to sedate a horse, maybe?

  • vladluskin says:

    How did Chris do today?

  • spinner says:

    I take back what I said about Team SKY’s stupidity. BMC attacking on the last climb, today, while their GC guy is attempting to get back on is beyond stupid…..

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