Hi, Mom — settling in (Part 4)

September 11, 2014 § 6 Comments

Hi, Mom

The flight went pretty good because there was no f***** and the guy next to me didn’t want his pretzels.

I will be keeping this short because there’s a lot going on. One of my new teammates Joe Snodgrass met me at LAX, so you’re Porky Tubbs he asked and I said you must have me confused with someone else, I’m Blitzkrieg Billy. He laughed and took me to my new place but he won’t be laughing when I open up the can. He is a skinny little dude and I can tell the team is already depending on me to bring home the bacon, Snodgrass doesn’t look like he could ride more than ten miles without passing out. My new place is about a thirty minute drive from the beach. My address where you can send me care packages (love you, MOM!!) is:

Billy “Blitzkrieg” Tubbs
13385 Rosecrans Ave., #101
Compton, CA 90220

I asked Snodgrass why it’s not in LA and he said you don’t want to live in LA. LA is run down and filled with bad neighborhoods he said, in fact LA is just a bunch of smaller cities all cobbled together. Did you know that Beverly Hills and Hollywood aren’t actually LA? Neither is Compton, although it’s in LA it’s not LA. It’s kind of confusing.

There were a bunch of my neighbors standing on the corner watching me move in. I waved at them and said hi but they didn’t come over and talk or anything. I don’t know if they’re unfriendly or what, maybe in California people don’t shake your hand and want to meet newcomers. Also, it looks to me like there’s a belt shortage in this town. Those guys’ pants sag any lower they will be showing things that no one wants to see until after a few beers.

Anyway, the Team Ding-a-Ling bikes are very trick, Snodgrass handed over a road bike and a cyclecross bike. I will try them out tomorrow but for now I have to get my things situated.

PS: Tell Pap that he’s gonna be pretty tickled when I open up the can on one of these local tough guy training rides Snodgrass told me about. He told you what that means, right?

Love you, mom.

Your son,
Blitz

PPS: I’m thinking about an extra nicky to go with Blitz, like “the Hammer.” How do you like Blitz the Hammer?

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