Chasing the $

February 18, 2015 § 31 Comments

Scattered observations on a Tuesday afternoon, scattered because earlier today Outlook slammed shut and the .pst data file got corrupted. That’s okay! It’s only 15-gigs and it only has 99,000 files!

Fortunately, MicroStupid has the Outlook Inbox Repair Tool and his name is Bill Gates. You turn on the repair tool and it scans the .pst file, except the word “scan” doesn’t quite fit. When I was kid I learned that “scan” meant to quickly look over something, but in MicroStupidese “scan” means “pull out the Sunday Times or Thomas Mann’s ‘Magic Mountain’ in German because it’s gonna take a while.”

After scanning, or shall we say trundling, the Tool indicated that my file was corrupted. Was I surprised to learn that something associated with me is corrupt? No. So I hit the “repair now” button and it did what MicroStupid is famous for: Hanging.

“Perhaps there’s a repair tool for the repair tool?” I wondered. So I googled “repair tool repair tool” and it took me to I won’t hyperlink; you’ll have to find that fifty-first shade of grey on your own.

Like an idiot I then reinstalled MS Office and since we apparently have the Cox Discount Internet Package, where electrons are hand-carried over to my apartment one by one in a wheelbarrow, it’s going to take a while. And we won’t mention the unhappy fact that after it’s reinstalled, the .pst file will still be corrupt.

Anyway, scattered.

Chasing the money

On Sunday I was scattered, too. Scattered from chasing Greg Leibert a/k/a G$ as he attacked nonstop for fifty minutes at the CBR Crit #2 over in Carson. Greg didn’t win but he rode a real bike race while almost all of the eighty other riders in the field hunkered down, did nothing, and waited for the sprunt.

The mere act of following G$’s attacks makes you feel like you did something worthwhile, even though all it got me was worn out. And in their defense, the reason that most of the other wankers didn’t attack is because they couldn’t.

This is gonna be gnarly

Lots of social media howler monkeys have shrieked with glee upon hearing the news that Drugstrong got popped for a cool $10m when he lost his “I perjured myself like a fugger but a crooked deal’s a deal” defense at the SCA arbitration. He’s also being sued for the balance in state court, and the Feds + Floyd are about to give him the Sodom + Gomorrah treatment in the whistleblower suit as they seek $300m in damages. With an estimated net worth of $125m, Drugstrong is going to look back on 2015 as the year he moved back in with his mom.

I know that gives a lot of people pleasure. It’s fun to watch rude and mean people get hammered, I suppose. I have to confess that when he first got dethroned I thought he was going to make a clean breast of things and that he would take the noble route and be a noble guy. Color me garishly stupid. But none of it makes me particularly happy, any more than it makes me happy when a convicted killer gets life without parole. Mostly I just feel sad. Sad for the victims, sad for the perp, and sad for Betsy.

Bikes still make kids happy

On a super happy note, Matt Smith’s appeal on this wankerish blog netted a bunch of free bikes for his high school’s new MTB team, as well as clothing, equipment, and donations. What a wonderful bunch of people you are. You’ve made a difference in the lives of these kids. They’ll remember what you did long after you’ve forgotten. Too bad you have such lousy taste in reading material.

Tri-dorks heart Bike scum

Speaking of lousy reading material, I was blown away that my tongue-in-cheek rant about triathletes and bike weight got posted in the biggest tri-dork chat forum, Slowtwitch. Not surprised that they picked it up, but surprised that a bunch of them made friendly comments. Most of the time when something I write winds up on a forum it gets burned to the ground because apparently a lot of people think that I write news, or that I report facts, or that I really think I know anything about the subjects I write about.

Anyway, thanks to all you tri-dorks you got the joke, even if it was a pretty lame one. And thanks as well to the one tri-dork on the forum who took it all very seriously and was outraged that I’d be so outrageous and that I was also wrong and a hypocrite. That dude spends way too much time on my sister publication, Red Kite Bore.

Golf is “Flog” spelled backwards

Mega-props to Emily Georgeson, the “sprinter” who got 2nd at Punchbowl behind Katie Donovan, the quintessential twiggy climber type who sprints like a battleship, corners like a city bus, but climbs like blood pressure at the Heart Attack Cafe. Emily’s success is down to hard work, smart riding, and a great coach-riding partner in Aaron Wimberley, but the meat and potatoes of her climbing prowess is our Thursday Flog Ride around the Golf Course.

That ride turns everyone into shrapnel. It’s tactical, there’s nowhere to hide, there are no stoplights, and it’s flat fuggin hard.

Skinned sausage

Speaking of hard, Robert Efthimos took a nasty tumble leading out the Cat 3 sprunt at CBR on Sunday and separated his shoulder. What’s worse, he also separated his carbon seat stays which are full carbon. Heal up, Sausage! And the next time you get the bright idea to do anything in a Cat 3 race other than NOT SIGN UP, don’t do it!

For those who don’t know it, Robert is the president-elect of La Grange, one of the oldest and most venerated racing clubs in the U.S. He is doing everything right to refocus the club back on racing, and his efforts have resulted in a strong La Grange presence at races. Guys like Robert and Greg Seyranian, who have an open door policy and who emphasize racing for people who JOIN A FUGGIN BIKE RACING CLUB are the key to the grass roots development that saw such amazing turnout at the races on Sunday. Hats off, Sausage. Hope you’re herding the frogs there for years to come.

The eyes have it

On a related note, Ronnie Toth called me the other day to talk about his MB Grand Prix crash that I’d written up several months ago. I expected a tongue lashing but got nothing of the sort. He was funny, polite, intelligent, and slightly butthurt (his words), and in the end we saw eye to eye regarding his terrible collision and the danger of the ubiquitous steel barriers.

Had Ronnie not been wearing his SPY shades he would have lost an eye, perhaps both. He’s had titanium reconstruction on part of his skull, and his nose was rebuilt with bone and cartilage from a rib. It’s amazing that he’s recovered so quickly, and when he told SPY about the sight-saving effect of the glasses, they gave him glasses … for life. Lots of reasons I support SPY, but nothing exemplifies it like this kind of stuff.

Huge props to Ronnie for getting back on the bike.

First blood

My good friend Michelle L. did her first bike race on Sunday. She’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, on the bike or off, and before she got into cycling she ran a lot and she ran fast. Michelle took the plunge and had a blast. She had a lot of encouragement which outweighed all the wankers who said “WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT????”

Answer: Because it’s thrilling and kind of dangerous and hard as hell and fun. Michelle rode towards the front and then rode AT the front for the last five laps and still snagged seventh. Welcome to the sorority, Michelle! [Note: Michelle is also one of the riders who does the Flog Ride, and there’s no way any crit is as miserable as that.]

Happy Camp

SPY Optic is having its grand opening on Friday, Feb. 20, from 10:00 AM to whenever at their full service retail outlet in Leucadia, located on the 101. There will be a happy hour and live music and male strippers and female porn stars and President Clinton and celebrity cyclists such as Greg LeMond, Sean Kelly, Jacques Anquetil, and Pee Wee Herman. So don’t miss it.

Upcoming races

Rosena Ranch Circuit Race is this Saturday. It’s the best, most awesome, challenging, technical, impressive, wonderful, and truly incredible race course in the history of the sport even though it’s in San Bernardino. Cycling fans will recall Rosena Ranch as the place where I broke my 30-year jinx and rode to solo victory against a field of midgets and a corpse. However, a win is a win, and if I can win there, so can you. Plus, there is lots to do in the surrounding areas, like meth and stuff.

Okay, looks like Orifice has been reinstalled, and as expected the .pst file is still corrupt. Time to plunk down $199.95 for DataNumen Outlook Repair. I’m sure everything will be fine.



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§ 31 Responses to Chasing the $

  • Barbara Radnofsky says:

    Thank you. BAR

  • Serge Issakov says:

    I’m a software engineer and I only use Outlook at work where it’s required for you know, work, and there is a small army of dweebs who’ve sat through centuries of Microsoft certification courses to assemble the wisdom required to keep that patched quandary of crap running some of the time.

    For stuff that matters to me I use gmail where I can quickly find anything I’ve received or posted for the last 10 years because that’s how long I’ve been using it (as opposed to Facebag where often I can’t find something I saw 30 seconds ago).

    Yes it’s freaky how much “they” know but since I decided not to care I don’t care. So there. Mon frere.

    Anyway, gmail. And Linux. Or a Mac. Then no more Microft b.s. to deal with.

    • fsethd says:

      I hate to say anything nice about MicroDumb, but this is the first issue I’ve had since 2003. Okay, it’s the fifth. Tenth. Whatever. Arrrgh.

      But doctor, change is hard!

    • +1 on the google and linux stuff. Liking android more and more too. Never bothered to mess with fakebook, but that sounds about right!

    • channel_zero says:

      Frankly Wanky, it’s time for you to move to IMAP and stop using the .pst.
      This way your email follows you around, in sync, regardless of the device you are using to read the email. Google’s email uses this as their client interface. That’s why people like it. If you are a Cox customer, I’m sorry for you, but they actually have IMAP email services.

      I recommend to anyone in an AT&T neighborhood. They overpromise a little, but nothing like cable/telcos. The people that pick up the phone when assistance is needed can actually do something.


      Oh, and I’m halfway through an Apple debacle right now with the SO’s laptop that has run out of disk space. Did you know, you cannot reinstall a maintained, but not current version of their OS? It’s only available on Apple’s software store and it’s not available because it’s not the latest release. Did you know you cannot restore from TimeMachine in that instance either?

      To review, an apple laptop with a current OS that apple provides updates, but you cannot transfer, move, or reinstall any of the data stored on the laptop with Apple’s software. You can’t transfer disk image to another disk and reboot either. (UUID changes)

      Frustrating to say the least.

  • Winemaker says:

    What? No library? No past comments? No brown-nosing responses from the readers? What a gip! $2.99 buys nothing these days. Time to go play with the dog and the rattlesnakes.

  • BigBug says:

    I hate the cleaning lady.

    • fsethd says:

      I can’t do that because I’m married to her. She, on the other hand, may have strong negative feelings towards the cleaning man.

  • What!?! Nothing from G$ on the bank heist that netted bout one billion dollars???? I’m betting he was part of this! Oh, and that was a “b” above.

    You got to admit it. Those dudes did it without any guns, knives, masks, or even get away car! All that and barely a blimp on the radar.

    Where do I sign up?

  • Tom Paterson says:

    Gee, I first read that as “the tridorks on low-twitch offered up *fredly* comments…”. Whoa! I re-read that sentence– and I’m glad I did– because “hmm, Wanky usually only offers up two or maybe three pokes-per-sentence”. I mean, that jab would have just been over the top, and Wanky– well, that’s just not natural thing for him.
    So, good. Because, I admit, I still think “there is hope, eternal” (someplace in this dark & shattered burned-out waste that once was “me”) and I hope no one actually wanted to argue the points that Wank-man raised in his thoughtful and oh-so-insightful rant.
    I mean, I almost went back to that fu-room, or at least almost started to look to see if it’s still around and/or searchable archjives so I could crib “the math” (since I’m so stupid & help/hopeless that I can’t just do my own, as a trivial matter for fun or even on the back of an envelope with a pencil if I can’t do it in my head like Real People can, because it’s fun) but then I re-read the sentence and there went that “hope” thing again.
    I mean, when I close my eyes, I always see a future, and it’s always the same… millions of people riding bicycles– or not, if they don’t wanna ride a bicycle, or they’re at work, or asleep, or something– the kind of bike, according to their wishes, desires, and ability to pay, that they dang well want to ride. Skinny wheels, fat wheels, two wheels, three wheels, with wood/steel/aluminum/titanium/carbon fiber/Lorica/Genuine Kangaroo Leather materials made into frames and components arrayed under and around them, riding as suits them and to where also suits them, and that, before they ride very far at all, they get wonderful, kind & knowledgeable instruction so that they know how to ride in a straight line, how to ride safe & smart in groups, how to act considerate of other ROW users, and know how to go around corners so they don’t fall down go boom, and– this is the tough part– even though they just can’t and don’t understand why “anyone would ever want to DO that!” (ride a crit, enter a triathlon, ride a Century ride, ride up big hills, or ride to work in a cold, driving rainstorm), that they recognize the basic huma

    Whoops, knock at the door. Back with you latttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

    • fsethd says:

      I want my Lorica wheels.

      And yes, as in matters of sexual preference, ride what you like, what’s consensual, and what’s at or over the legal limit.

    • Winemaker says:

      Thass sum pretty good James Joyce there, Tom, good writin’.

      • Tom Paterson says:

        Offered for enjoyment and thanks for commenting.
        I remember Jimmy Durante– “Everybody’s trying to get into the act!”.
        Or be part of the fun, anyhow. Hey!! Ow!!! OK OK OK, stop it, Seth!! Uncle!!! Part of the act! Part of the act!!! O Culpa Mea!

        Whew. Glad that’s over.
        Excuse me, I’ve got a cinnamon-sugar twist to eat while it’s still bakery-warm here.

      • fsethd says:

        Give Tom a well rolled cigar of homegrown and he can stream of conscious with the best of ’em.

  • Michelle Landes says:

    Luv yA Wanky ! Way to cover it all , good luck with micro$&@!

  • Woody says:

    Was that some kind of freaky subliminal messaging in there? Why did I just come away with one thought after reading that….”must ride FLOG”…?

  • LesB says:

    MicroStupe made a big success of the business model of releasing a known defective product then letting the customer deal with it.

  • Hwy. 39 says:

    I think two of the three arbitrators got it wrong in SCA v. Dopestrong. SCA voluntarily entered into a settlement with Dopestrong back in the day.

    The original “settlement” agreement included the language that “No party may challenge, appeal or attempt to set aside” the settlement and that the agreement was “fully and forever binding.”

    If all it takes to challenge a binding “settlement” agreement in this country is someone lying under oath, well then nothing will ever be settled. The next case I’m involved in where no one lies under oath will be the first and I’ve been praticising at this law stuff for over 20 years.

    • fsethd says:

      Perhaps. But when the entire agreement is founded on a complete falsehood, from tip to tail, it kind of makes you throw up a little, and in this case one of the chunks was the validity of the agreement.

  • Edwin says:

    To a lesser blogger that would have been 11 posts – and you just blurted them all out at once. That why I enjoy CitSB so much.

  • 900aero says:

    That is a very interesting point Hwy.39. Settlement until we think we we’re dudded…..
    Not defending Lance, more that the law is used properly.

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