Who’s your buddy?

June 20, 2016 § 5 Comments

People are different when they are on a bicycle, and it’s often difficult to know when someone is your friend or not. The guy who buys you a beer, picks up the tab, and helps you change a tire may well be the same dude who pours you through the meatgrinder, smiling.

Here are some things to look for when trying to decide whether you’re friends or foes.

  1. Tows you to a new Strava KOM? FRIEND.
  2. Takes one of your only two Strava KOM’s the next day? FOE.
  3. Shares his team’s secret strategy for tomorrow’s race? FRIEND.
  4. Uses a completely different strategy on race day? FOE.
  5. Offers to let you use his girlfriend for hand-ups on blazing hot day? FRIEND.
  6. Girlfriend “forgets” to hand you a bottle? FOE.
  7. Lets you sit on his wheel in a hard breakaway? FRIEND.
  8. Gaps you out so you both get dropped? FOE.
  9. Convinces you to sit at the back because “huge field, no break rolling today, save it for the finish”? FRIEND.
  10. Initiates and makes the winning split while you’re 98 wheels back? FOE.
  11. Leads you out? FRIEND.
  12. Takes you into the curb on the final turn? FOE.
  13. Buys you coffee? FRIEND.
  14. Buys you donuts? FOE.
  15. Invites you on “no-drop, fun ride”? FRIEND.
  16. Leaves you for dead 87 miles from home? FOE.
  17. Convinces you to try a bike race? FRIEND.
  18. Convinces you to try for a pro career? FOE.

END

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