I can haz Stravver

July 12, 2016 § 20 Comments

WADA/USADA/UCI/Piggly-Wiggly band Nikky Brantsoreassson fer lifetime. Fer dopin an salez of dopin dop.

But he can haz Stravver? Thats whut us LA Stravverers wanna no. Cuz we don race and we don kar about no dopin dops. But us surez heck karz about Stravver. Cheetinz cheetin, everybody cheetz. But us Stravverers don ever gon let KOM cheetz get away.

Howz he Stravver gonna be? Kin Stravver yank he KOMz fer dopin. Kin them?

Brantsoreassson iz a gud dud. I like he. Hez makin dop cloz fer bikin dops. He cloz is dop. He cloz is costin lotz two. More’n Raffle cloz. Herez how I seez he. He makin dop cloz he local boy dun gud. Dun bad but dun gud.

Pluss I like he Stravver. He haz big ol nassty fasst Stravver KOM. After I ridez I check he Stravver and man he goz pro. Pro fasst Stravver fasst. Big ringz an hammer he like big dogz.

But I dont like he dops Stravver. We needz town hall pro test and meetingz with Obama. Obama kin shut he down fer Stravver dopin. If Obama kin not yank he Stravver KOM we gon meat Mr. Stravver and we can haz protest at Mr. Stravver offis or we can haz pro test at Mr. and Mrs. Stravver house.

Mr. Stravver kin nock he off leaderboard. Mr. Stravver, I hopez youz listenin. Becuz if you don nock Soreassson off all Stravver leaderboard ess speshul lee Mandy Vill wez all quitin our free Stravver a count. You aint kant make no more muni off we.

Sind,

Stravver Kat

END

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§ 20 Responses to I can haz Stravver

  • tb says:

    Dun bad but dun gud….. hahahahahaha, gud vun!

  • Kevin says:

    Just a sample from your new tome, “Brandtsorreasson’s Wake”?

  • Steven Burns says:

    ugh. that was painful to read.

  • Waldo says:

    Yes, very painful. Probably even more painful to write.

  • Brian C says:

    Does Pa know you writ this? I rekon we both gonna git a ass whuppin on akont of yew.

  • dangerstu says:

    I think I understand but I’m not sure.

  • Waldo says:

    I pasted the post into Google translator and came up with:

    WADA/USADA/UCI/Piggly-Wiggly band Nikky Brantsoreassson fer lifetime. Fer dopin an salez of dopin dop.

    But he can haz Stravver? Thats whut us LA Stravverers wanna no. Cuz we don race and we don kar about no dopin dops. But us surez heck karz about Stravver. Cheetinz cheetin, everybody cheetz. But us Stravverers don ever gon let KOM cheetz get away.

    Howz he Stravver gonna be? Kin Stravver yank he KOMz fer dopin. Kin them?

    Brantsoreassson iz a gud dud. I like he. Hez makin dop cloz fer bikin dops. He cloz is dop. He cloz is costin lotz two. More’n Raffle cloz. Herez how I seez he. He makin dop cloz he local boy dun gud. Dun bad but dun gud.

    Pluss I like he Stravver. He haz big ol nassty fasst Stravver KOM. After I ridez I check he Stravver and man he goz pro. Pro fasst Stravver fasst. Big ringz an hammer he like big dogz.

    But I dont like he dops Stravver. We needz town hall pro test and meetingz with Obama. Obama kin shut he down fer Stravver dopin. If Obama kin not yank he Stravver KOM we gon meat Mr. Stravver and we can haz protest at Mr. Stravver offis or we can haz pro test at Mr. and Mrs. Stravver house.

    Mr. Stravver kin nock he off leaderboard. Mr. Stravver, I hopez youz listenin. Becuz if you don nock Soreassson off all Stravver leaderboard ess speshul lee Mandy Vill wez all quitin our free Stravver a count. You aint kant make no more muni off we

  • shano92107 says:

    much the same as reading the unabridged version of Lewis and Clarks expeditions, you’ve quasi-pseudo-fukked my spelling skills (again.) Thanks buddy! 😉

  • channel_zero says:

    You know that stravaz won’t touch other doperz like Levi Leipienhiemer. Dopesquatch is in good company. What a bunch a loosers.

    Thanks Obama!

  • Rab says:

    I wish we could give something like kudos in a negative sense for worthy strava efforts…give a syringe, pill bottle, IV bag, transdermal patch emojis have type thing etc to those truly special riders /efforts.

  • Michael says:

    It reads like Jens Voight sounds like on his TDF commentary. Nice guy and has some big following for whatever reason but I can’t understand a word he says on TV.

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