2017 Cycling Gaols: Gaol #1–get legs

September 10, 2016 § 15 Comments

Since the off-season week is finished I went out on the Donut Ride today and got dropped. Then I quit, and after that I bonked.

As I was crawling on my hands and knees to the wine-and-liquor mart across from the Miraleste fire station (great location for booze), Destroyer helped me buy some Pop-Tarts Cycling Recovery Nutrition and a bottle of Starbucks Frappucino Milk and Coffee Cycling Recovery Nutrition Drink Supplement.

“Have you ever considered putting anything in your water bottle besides water for 55-mile, race-intensity beatdowns?” he asked.

“Nah,” I said. “Science is overrated.”

He sighed. “So what are your cycling goals for 2017?” he asked as I tore through the Pop-Tarts wrapper and wolfed down the precious recovery nutrition items including the crumbs.

“I have three cycling gaols this year,” I said. “Gaol Number One is to get legs.”

“Get legs?”

“Yeah. Cycling legs.”

“What do you mean?”

I showed him a picture. “These are my legs. The are muscle-free and have the definition of an old black-and-white t.v.”


He nodded glumly. “Yeah. I know.”

“And they don’t work worth a damn. So in 2017 I’m going to get some cycling legs. Like Michael’s.” I showed him this picture.


“That’s my gaol.”



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