A most subversive marriage

April 9, 2017 § 17 Comments


It’s not often that the referee marrying you says “batshit crazy” or “I hope we didn’t offend the baby Jesus.”

It’s not often that two people are married by a man proclaiming “the power vested in me by the Internet.”

It’s not often that two people get married in their underwear.

It’s not often that the underwear marriage is witnessed by a hundred friends. Also in their underwear.

It’s not often that humor and warmth spill across an entire rocky slope during a wedding.

It’s not often that the words joining two people are so truthful, considered, and well said.

It’s not often that you meet two old friends for the first time on their wedding day.

It’s not often that the mother of the bride climbs 2,000 feet on a bike to attend.

It’s not often that a wedding gang sneaks over a hundred people into a park with the most beautiful overlook on earth, surgically marries the participants, then flees under cover of broad daylight, saving at least ten grand in rental fees.

It’s not often that those witnessing a wedding are bathed in sweat after a two-hour ride through brutally hilly terrain.

It’s not often that the tears are so genuine and the laughter so true.

It’s not often that two lovers trust the words binding their union to a bearded, uncouth Armenian wearing a pope suit who speak so deeply from the heart.

It’s not often that the shining star finds the blazing fire.

It’s not often that she finds him.

It’s not often that he finds her.

And when they do, it’s beautiful, forever.





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