Imaginary schedules

July 7, 2017 § 13 Comments

Oh, come on, admit it. At some point in your cycling life you have made up an imaginary training schedule. It was delusional the moment you wrote down miles or watts or anything definitive that could be measured. If you synched to a training program or shared it with your coach, or worse, fabricated it in conjunction with one, it transcended fantasy and became pure science fiction.

That’s okay. Like masturbation, we’ve all done it. And like masturbation, some things are better left done in private and not discussed. No one wants to see a picture of it. Really.

The last time I wrote down a fake training schedule it lasted two weeks. That was back when I had a power meter, which I suppose is worse than admitting to the aforementioned unmentionable activity.

Anyway, last night I made a riding calendar. It’s not based on what I plan to do, but loosely on what I have done in the past. It doesn’t have miles or watts or hours or time or anything that you can hold me to. Also, it’s purely speculative. It’s what I was thinking of LAST NIGHT. Next Thursday I will be thinking of something different, trust me.

Most importantly, this schedule, in addition to being set in sand, isn’t designed to do anything. It won’t make me faster, better, tougher, better looking, richer, or better endowed. Here it is. Read it and shake your head.

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