Please shut up k thx

November 19, 2018 § 16 Comments

When you are busted for doping you need to shut up. This is because the more you talk, the worse you sound. The best dopers are Eastern European because they say nothing when they get busted. And when they get through shutting up, you know what they do?

They shut up some more.

Sorry not sorry

I had hoped that posting about Steve Strickler and his sorry, cheating, doping behavior would help him do what he needs to do: Shut up. This is because when you are a lying, doping cheater, nothing you say is going to help your cause except exactly the thing you cannot say, which is this:

I am sorry for lying to and cheating my friends, family, fellow competitors, race promoters, and race sponsors. I am a liar and a cheat and I have tarnished all the people who believed that I was an honest athlete and who raced on my team. I am going to go away now and ride my bike and try to make sense of how I could be such a narcissistic, lying cheat.

Instead, Strickler chose to post this non-apology on Facebook, and yes, I will help break it down. It is pretty fucked up.

What it all means, line by line

  1. “It has been brought to my attention, that it is important for those connected to bicycle racing to understand the current situation about my recent ban.” Wanky interp: People are calling me out as a liar and a cheat, especially that asshole blogger Seth. I wouldn’t have said anything about this unless publicly pressured. I feel no guilt about this at all but I am going to re-direct you in case you have been paying attention to facts.
  2. “In November of 2017, I received a full knee replacement. On the direction of my doctor, and with standard testosterone therapy prescription I started to replace my low testosterone in March of 2018 to aid in my recover and for overall well-being.” Wanky interp: My cheating was medically necessary. Because my doctor prescribed me banned drugs for overall well-being, cheating is okay. Don’t you feel sorry for me now?
  3. “I had absolutely no intentions of racing in 2018.” Wanky interp: I didn’t plan to cheat, it just happened. Like rain.
  4. “Impulsively at a last moment I decided to go to the Dana Point Grand Pre.” Wanky interp: Doping is okay if it is done at the last moment and misspelled.
  5. “I knew I would not be competitive, I just wanted to be there to support the event and the cycling community.” Wanky interp: I was doping for YOU.
  6. “The results of that choice are now public and will forever be such. I can’t alter this bad choice.” Wanky interp: I got caught. FML.
  7. “This was the one and only race I attended this year.” Wanky interp: Cheating once is okay, and I never ever cheated before this. Really!
  8. “I was randomly selected in the field and yes, I tested positive for a banned substance.” Wanky interp: It was pretty unfair that I got caught.
  9. “I accept full responsibility for this choice and the ban that comes with my choice.” Wanky interp: I’m not going to apologize because I did nothing wrong besides getting caught.
  10. “However, I do not want this choice and set up circumstances to define me or my 30 years of cycling.” Wanky interp: I never cheated before, I promise.
  11. “I will seek to make something good from this, for me personally and for the sport that I love so much.” Wanky interp: No apologies, no refunds, just a vague promise to be a good boy while I sit in the corner.
  12. “I am asking nothing in return from anyone. I just feel this needs to be in context, to this situation, and was asked by someone I respect to provide that context.” Wanky interp: I didn’t cheat and my situation is really unique.
  13. “I am not excusing myself, just explaining.” Wanky interp: I did nothing wrong.

Mental mishmash

There are really only a couple of issues here that need to be addressed, as the whole thing is so absurdly self-serving as to barely warrant reading with a straight face.

First is Steve’s suggestion that this was a one-off, medically necessary step that he blundered into. He insinuates that the testosterone was medically necessary by juxtaposing it with a knee operation as if testosterone replacement therapy has something to do with knee surgery. Of course it doesn’t, and Steve admits that it’s simply a “well-being” thing.

This is a key part of his plea, the idea that at age 58 he suddenly needed the testosterone. He’s hoping you are stupid enough to think that putting “knee replacement surgery” and “standard testosterone therapy” in the same paragraph makes the two related.

If Steve were telling the truth, all he would have to do is find a neutral third party and authorize that party to get copies of his medical records for the past ten years, redacting them except as they show that he received the doping therapy only in March, 2018. Of course the problem with this approach is that Steve’s story may well be one big fat lie, and his medical records may well show that he has been doping for years. If he’s telling the truth, why not release the records? It would at least prove that he came to doping recently, and not, say, during the years when he dominated and, you know, won that national title. And all those races in 2017. And 2016. And 2015. And etcetera.

Second is Steve’s insinuation that he has never cheated before. As a fellow leaky prostate masters racer, why would anyone believe him? What is more believable, that he has been doping for years, or that this is the only time he doped? If someone gets busted for DUI, by the way, they have typically driven drunk 80 times before they get caught. With cycling, I’d argue that dopers use drugs even more because testing is so rare. People who wind up in the snare are much more likely to be in the Kayle LeoGrande mold than the accidental old fellow who mistakenly took the green pill instead of the white one.

It’s my opinion that Steve perfectly fits the profile of a career doper. 1) Great results. 2) Old dude. 3) Has the money to pay for the doctor and the drugs. 4) Best buddies with doping hacks like Rich Meeker. 5) Refuses to apologize. 6) Never admits to cheating even though he was caught cheating. 7) Claims it was a one-off deal. 8) Ignores the fact that he tried to cheat every other competitor in the race, and got caught doing it. 9) Claims to love the sport even as he destroys it by cheating. 10) Covers his tracks with a do-gooder foundation of questionable value.

Strickler’s education campaign on Facegag is less an exculpation of him than a Rorschach Test: How narcissistic are YOU, how much of a sucker are YOU, how deeply do YOU want to ignore facts in order to fit a phony narrative from some dude who you personally like and respect? Most importantly, how willing are YOU to admit you were completely wrong about a guy you liked? The #fakerace leaky prostate scene is irredeemable and either you see it or you don’t.

Third and most appalling is the suggestion that Steve is somehow taking responsibility by acknowledging a fact. Lance Armstrong never denied testing positive for testosterone, he simply said it was medically authorized. No athlete denies the positive test unless there was an actual problem with the testing, so saying that “I admit I tested positive” is NOT AN ADMISSION OF ANYTHING. The point is not for Steve to admit that he was busted and banned, it’s for him to apologize for being a drug cheat and all that goes with it. Lance at least finally came to grips with the fact that he cheated others, as did David Millar, Floyd Landis, and a few other notables. The rest, like Strickler, Meeker, LeoGrande, and Brandt-Sorenson, simply dissembled and slunk away.

By throwing in the bit about supporting the cycling community (through doped racing, no less), by emphasizing the random nature of the control (as if doping controls could work otherwise), and by saying that he’s not asking anything from anyone, Strickler has come up with what he thinks is the perfect formula to bring down the cognitive dissonance from its roaring boil.

Unfortunately, he does the exact opposite for anyone with even a shred of critical reasoning, namely: Cheating isn’t supporting the community, random controls work because they root out cheaters, and what kind of sociopath would be asking for something from the very people he had cheated? Isn’t it Steve who should be offering something up, like, say, an apology, a release of his medical records, and an admission of intentional cheating? What about refunding his prize money?

We all know that people who don’t apologize don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. If he was a 3-year-old, he’d have to cough up the words “I’m sorry for cheating” whether he wanted to or not. But that ain’t gonna happen.

So instead of blathering on with all the humbuggery, my personal advice to Steve is to STFU. Silence, baby, is golden.

END

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§ 16 Responses to Please shut up k thx

  • dpcowboy54 says:

    Or, as Al Davis is to say, “Just win baby!”
    I find it amusing that bike racing,at all levels, including SoCal masters racing, has become like professional wrestling… with Carbon.

    • fsethd says:

      When you go back and look at THE difference, it’s not the cheating or the frame materials, it’s the radio communications combined with computing analysis of power output. Those two things reduce racing to a predictable, mechanistic, unexciting event both as a spectator and as a participant. Exactly the same experience of using Fecesbook vs. reading a real book.

  • dangerstu says:

    I’m about to have my hip replaced, my doctor keeps insisting I take vitamin D and Dana Point is only 5minutes away, It’s a sign from dog I should start fake racing next year. Thanks Seth for revealing the mysterious ways of the fake racing universe to me. Do you think I should start micro-dosing the kimchi first or go straight spinning a smaller gear up hill first?

  • Toronto says:

    “It has been brought to my attention” – now, that there is some damn fine humor!

  • zigak says:

    Look, he obviously can’t release his medical records, because they were on his doctors laptop, which was stolen. D’oh.

  • senna65 says:

    Only in “masters” bike riding can you have 58 year-old man explaining to the world why he’s all jacked up on “male enhancement” drugs. Maybe he just trains harder – although Tilford would probably not agree with that…

    I’ve pretty much been a cyclist most of my life. And I’ve trained pretty fuckin’ hard quite a bit of it. And I know a ton of guys that train unbelievably hard too. So unbelievable hard that it is impossible to have any more energy or time to train any harder. So, let’s just drop the “I train harder than everyone else” thing. If you can train harder than the guys I know, then you must be taking drugs to recover. Because, most of us are training about as hard as being a human body allows.

  • ksisbroken says:

    So many crybabies in the sport of cycling. Must be the affect of sitting on your balls for so long. Especially for someone who proclaims to never race again.

    • fsethd says:

      Yeah, lots of crybabies who can’t stand the cheats. Guess they should just keep subsidizing your narcissism. ‘Cuz you so cool up there with the dart in your ass.

  • Bad Vegan says:

    They should stop with Master-bator categories. Put all the masters in one race- all of them- with no prize money and 30 min. race limit.

    Double their entry fee costs, minimize their impact on the weekend racing.

    Use the money and time to focus on areas that should be growing:
    Juniors, women and developing racers.

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